Story #1

Let’s say, just for giggles, that there was once a group of people called the Oompas who loved to dance. They liked to polka best, but also enjoyed a number of other dances; fox-trot, two-step, Texas swing – most any type of dancing. There was a problem, however, in that the Rulers of the Dance only allowed the minuet. If this group of dance enthusiasts tried to dance anything but the minuet they would be severely punished.

Because of this, the polka lovers decided to leave their homes and journey to a new land where they could start an Oompa Club. The club founders wanted all types of dances, not just the polka. When they were setting up their by-laws they used a book that the ‘Oompa King’ had written. This book set out many ancient principals for dancing and taught them how to settle any disputes that arose. Most everyone was happy and those that weren’t didn’t have to dance. If there were disagreements between the club members, the club president would look in the Oompa King book and would find a solution that was fair to everyone.

The club welcomed many new members. Some came to dance and some just came to socialize. And all of this was fine because the charter said:
“Everyone welcome; all dance types and styles welcome. No one can decide what dance is allowed or prohibited.”

And things went along dandy for 200 years. As so often happened, however, some members decided they didn’t like the club the way it was. A few of them (less than 23 percent) announced at a club meeting that they didn’t much like any kind of dancing, but especially the polka. Someone had discovered an old letter from one founding member of the Oompa Club that said dancing was okay, but never in public. (All other founding members thought public dancing was fine, mind you.) Holding positions of great power in the dance club, the 23 percent decided that dancing should be discouraged – especially the polka. So the polka was no longer allowed at the dance club. Not only did this upset the Poles, the Germans and the Mexicans as this was their national dance, but numerous other people who loved the club the way it was. 

They cried out in dismay. “What do you care if we dance; or what dance we do?”

“We do care,” this Anti-Polka group cried in a loud voice, “our annual club dues pay for the rent of the dance hall and we will make the decisions.”

The polka fans were frustrated and angry. Their annual dues also paid the rent for the dance hall. And after all, it was the quest for freedom to dance the polka that motivated the founders of the Oompa Club.

“Look at the new by-laws” the No-Polka people stated. “See, it says, ‘Keep the polka out of the Oompa Club.”

“You have twisted the original intent,” said the frustrated Polka-Lovers. 

“The intent of the founding members was to keep the dance club from designating a particular dance. All but one of the originators of the by-laws were lovers of the polka. Their meetings always began with the polka. You don’t have to polka if you don’t like to. Even our beloved Oompa King of old says everyone has been given a free choice. The founders said you have the right to sit out that dance. We promise to fight to the death for your right to be a No-Polka person.”

Nine of the powerful No-Polka people jumped up and shouted, “We won’t allow any more mention of your silly Oompa King or his book. We don’t have to obey his ancient principals any more. From now on you have to obey our rules.

The new rules were:
1. If you are a Polka-Lover you can’t do the polka in public places.
2. If a new member wants to do the watusi and a Polka-Lover doesn’t want to, the Polka-Lover should be chastised. He must also be made to go to Watusi Sensitivity Training.
3. A Polka-Lover can never again be excused from doing something because the Oompa Book tells him not to do it.
Once again, the Polka-Lovers asked, “Why do you care how we dance? Our major premise is freedom of the dance. You asked to join with us. Let’s all enjoy this wonderful club and let everyone dance their own style.”
And if you check history you’ll find that’s the way the Oompa Club was originally set up.